They aren't mind-readers. They aren't perfect. They can't somehow magically know everything I need, the moment I need it.

*sighs softly*

I'm really frustrated right now. Most of it is hormones... but part of it is that I really want a few VERY specific things from Kadin and apparently, have not made any of them clear enough to actually get them.

I want his fear. I want him trembling, afraid, nervous, scared... and damn it, I want to SEE it, I don't want a one-line post saying "I'm frightened" and nothing more than that. I want his words leaving me breathless because I can taste just how terrified he is. I want my heart racing because I'm torn between 'I can't belive I'm putting him through this', 'he's so beautiful, so amazing', and 'my GOD this feels good'.

I want his submission. I want to take him back to the point where he is quivering, whimpering, a little slavekitten with no thought in his head but serving. I want him to feel that again... to feel himself tumbling off a cliff edge and KNOWING that I'm at the bottom, waiting to catch him.

I want his lust. I want him as aroused as I am, as excited as I am. I want him to be unable to hold still, unable to keep from begging, just a little, for one more touch or one more blow or one more of whatever-it-is that's getting him all worked up. I want to be the one working him up like that.

's funny... I don't want his pain. That... gods, THAT I want from Torian. *shiverpurrs* Do I want Kadin under my whip? Yes. Do I want to bite him, nibble him? Yes. Do I want to watch him squirm a bit? Yes.

But... not true pain. Just sensation-pain.

*soft sigh*

I don't think he understands how... kind *twitch*... I've been. I don't think I understand WHY I've been so kind, when I know that the longer I give him damn near free reign, the harder it'll be to pull him back in.

It's 10:01 am, and I just want my kitten here at my feet.