This... no.

It's not worth feeling like I'm going to my own funeural. It's not worth dreading the sound of the phone ringing. It's not worth literally hating myself for trying to be her fucking perfect daughter or trying to placate her latest obsession. It's not worth having to argue and fight to make her understand that immediate physical necessities come before convenience. It's not worth spending days at a time wishing I were dead, disgusted at myself, furious with her, not daring to do anything about it for fear she'll cut me off.

It's not worth being in a position where she CAN cut me off.

I can't do this. Seriously. I can't.

I can't.

...I'm sorry.