- - -

*sighs*

Don't lie to me.

Just... don't.

Messages on my yahoo account? No, they aren't there. Sorry, try again. Tried to get through? The phone wasn't busy and we were all home at that time. Try once more. You promise, you'r going to do this... or that... or the other thing? I believe you, and thanks to that belief, thanks to trusting you for even a heartbeat, I am now royally screwed over.

Thanks for the life lessons.

I would rather have gone without them.

I need to get going, I've got an appointment with the naturopath in an hour. Hopefully they can fix my hands before this goes any farther.

Gods, I feel like death walking, today.

- - -

And it didn't get better.

See, the problem with my hands? A bacterial infection, related to strep, prob'ly picked up at the hospital when I was there last. The cream they gave me to treat it burns like nobody's business, nasty stuff.

I was supposed to meet Angel today... she was going to call, we were going to set up a time-and-place. I emailed her kind of last-minute when I realized I HAD to make it to the doctor's to deal with my hands, gave clear simple directions...

...she didn't call. And didn't show.

And I am torn between worry and annoyance.

But really, I should have expected this. I should have. I need to remember, I NEED to have this beaten into me (again), I should not trust anyone I don't own.

Never trust anyone who isn't Mine.

Never trust anyone I don't in some way hold.

Never.

Not EVER.

It always turns out poorly.

Always.

*clings to a few tattered memories, curling up in a little ball, eyes closed... and before she even finishes curling up, the walls are raised, and she is seen standing, eyes wide, knife and whip in hand, fangs bared... no more weaknesses, no more misery, no more trust*

I learn.