Yes. I am pathetic in this regard - even at work, I have no life but the computer. Nothing to contribute. Nothing useful to say. I hear the words and it's as if they are meaningless, my thoughts and mind melting away, fading down into nothingness, let me OUT of here... get me out of here... dammit.

I refuse to go into a mental tailspin tonight, point-blank refuse. There is nothing more horrible, in my mind, than loosing it in front of a crowd of people. One maybe. Two, perhaps. Three... only if they're the right ones. But a crowd of stranger? Heaven please forfend...

*shudders*

...I'm starting to panic. Starting to feel my fingers cramping, my ears flushing, that odd hollow roar in the pit of my mind, my stomach is in knots, ugly little knots that make me want to curl up and hide... hide, hide away completely, let me OUT... gods... I don't want to be here.

Welcome to the mind of an insomniac, of a lunatic, of a crazy person.

Welcome, thrice welcome. Enter into my world.

If you stay long enough, you'll never leave... Hotel California, folks. That's me. How do I explain this? See, I don't do it on purpose. I don't WANT it, half the time... but I see it happening, it's egotistical to say that, yes, but then I've been compared to a beartrap, to quicksand, to a pit viper, to a spider, to a hundred evil and mindless things but I swear I do have a mind... it just is a poor one, malfunctioning.

Fried brain on toast.

Oblong and squishy, may I have another cracker please? Erm... sorry. Tribute to Vlad. Long story.

Damn, I miss my mind sometimes. Like right now. Took aim, fired... and missed the damn thing again. It wriggles too much.

*sigh*

Congratulations, you'll get to watch my descent into lunacy tonight.