Anyway. They are advertising this new 'all-natural herbal' anti-depressant thing... they make it SOUND like they're basically handing out pot, but for legal reasons, obviously they're not. The questions are as follows: 1) what the hell is this stuff? Has anyone else heard the radio ads? Do you know anything about it? 2) Is it likely to work for me, as in will it replace the happy happy I feel on painmeds, pot, or occasionally alcohol, and the severe terror/depression I feel when sober, with something closer to normal human feelings? and 3) Am I brave enough or stupid enough to call in, get the 'free trial', and find out?

Oh, and 4) what the hell was the number, again? Scott had texted it to me once, but I have lost the message, and can't seem to find it. Argh.

Oh, well... maybe I'll hear it when NOT driving someday and write it down.

Seriously, I need to go see a shrink, or something. The depression and the panic attacks are getting a LOT worse... I'm at the point where I can't sleep alone and can only sleep with someone there if there is a HELL of a lot of trust, a certain amount of sex appeal, and a few things that I won't go into right now involved.

*sighs*

After the evil scope procedure tomorrow, I need to go to the AFS office and fill out paperwork so I continue to have health insurance and *fingers crossed hopefully* food stamps. In theory, social security should pay disability... but I don't know if I really count as disabled. ~I~ know damned well I can't hold most normal jobs, anyone who lives with or around me and sees me in pain knows damned well I can't hold most normal jobs... but SSI people tend to look at paperwork, not human beings. *shruggles*

Why am I stressing when I should be finishing off my Last Supper and trying to get some rest?

Damned if I know.