...and dammit, I thought I was doing good with the whole remembering-to-write-at-ALL when I'm dealing with doctors, panic attacks, less computer time than usual despite the fast connection (or likely, because of it), and dammit, it's not like I'm not already depressed enough about my medical needs YET AGAIN interfering, what, now you're pissed off because I didn't write you a fucking novel? Because I wasn't fucking SUBMISSIVE ENOUGH in the goddamned email I had to quite literally argue and beg to get time to write?

Fuck off.

*arghs, tearing at her hair*

I hurt, I'm tired, I'm going to be going out in the hot sun with perky people... this is NOT a good day. And to be told that apparently I'm a failure for a) being myself and b) managing something that most of the time, I don't even do THAT much? WTF is that all about?

Dammit.

FUCK IT.

Swearing, today, seems fun rather than just kind of immature. It's SO very that kind of a day. Managed to slam MY BREAST in a door - tell me that doesn't take talent, or at least annoyingly-large breasts - and I've stubbed my toe twice. And dropped a good 3+ pounds of frozen hamburger on my foot simply by opening the freezer door - whoever put it in there just balanced it, so open door=sore foot. Argh.

Tired. Irritable. HUNGRY. A day without eating solid food followed by a day of eating very little and a night when I'd hoped to go to Chang's but couldn't/didn't/etc. followed by today wherein I am starving and there is nothing in the house and we have been SUPPOSED to go out to eat or do picnic for several hours now... ARGH. Want food.

There's a new all-you-can-eat chinese place opened up nearby that apparently we might be trying... NOT Tin-Tin Buffet, which, if you ever come to Portland, do NOT go there, it sucks... the food is horrible, the sushi is not made with fresh fish, it's just disgusting. But anyway, we're gonna go eat soon, and hopefully after that I'll be cheerful.

Tired. Irritable. Hungry.

At least there are four good things in the world today...

...Caleb will be coming up here soon... Kadin will hopefully be coming down here for OryCon, which I keep typing OrgyCon, can you tell where my mind is?... Torian is an absolute dear, and I will get to talk to him soon...

...and Snowtygrrr exists.

Yeah, right now he is quite literally the only Dom I know and like at ALL who I'm not either completely irritated by or trying not to annoy by pushing a redhead in his direction... or *pokes Alex* just aren't hearing from.

Irritable - had I mentioned that yet?

Oh, and the dentist won't be able to see me for at least three weeks. And isn't returning my calls. And the doctor isn't either.

ARGH.

Alcohol.

I still have most of a bottle of vanilla vodka, 1/3 of a bottle of Absolut Citron, and most of a bottle of Fire (hot cinnamon schnapps). I refuse to be sober tonight. I also refuse to be polite tonight. Yes, I'll be drinking alone. I know better than to be drunk and grouchy around my friends, if I want 'em to STAY friends. *wry grin*