It seems weird, saying that.

First, a couple Important Things... I am doing WELL, I feel good, other than sore feet. I should be home soon - I thought I'd be home last night, but ended up staying up late enough that it was easier to catch a few hours' nap, then go errand-running downtown.

Downtown... goddess. FUN. More on that later, but I want it noted that I spent most of the time with my wrists cuffed together and a leash attached to 'em.

I have not done that since... since...

...hm. Since I was last with him.

We went to the Grotto, the official part, went up the huge elevator. Another 'I'd forgotten' moment, so pretty, green and cool and quiet. It made me wish I was religious in a Catholic sense, so I had an excuse to go there more often. Religion... one of my next long post will be about that, and I apologise in advance.

Teryaki - did I mention I seem to have a Teryaki fetish lately?

Ice cream, sandwiches and From Russia With Buzz (It's a Ben and Jerry's brand, try it, it's GOOD).

Gummi worms, chilled in the freezer.

Playing/watching/talking about wrestling.

Muscle girls.

Clove cigarettes.

Pleasure.

Contentment.

Happy. Incredibly happy.

We've talked for hours and hours now, about how it was, about how it is, about what it couldbe. Talked about my hang-ups and his, about what Kate said, about his SO and how much he loves her - he is so much in love, it's incredible. It makes me oddly envious.

Yes, envious.

Not of the love he feels for her, exactly... only in one very specific sense. I remember when he had that look in his eyes talking about me...

...but then, I also know him, see him, and you know what? I think he's right. I think he is still in love with me, just a bit. And oddly enough, I don't think I really mind it at the moment.

I have a feeling, bad icky feeling, that this could change... but... honestly...

...and I do mean honestly, I am trying to talk myself out of saying this even as I type it...

...honestly, I don't want it to change. I hope it doesn't. I like being with him.

Like.

Love.

And other four-letter words.