Not An Update. Really...
Previous - this entry written on April 20, 2002 at 8:49 pm - Next


Buy a goat.

It's Rocky night and there is stress, and snuggles, and pain, and drugs, and cherry coke, and smalls, and kisses, and confusion, and a boy in a collar that try as I might, I can't seem to keep my eyes off of.

It's getting easier as the hours pass, easier to forget that it's there, easier to pretend that I don't notice it and don't care, easier NOT to think about the fact that there's a collar around his throat and I didn't put it there.

So a large chunk of me is tempted to go the opposite direction. I've got my cuffs. I've got a collar - not mine, not the velvet, but the three-ring and leather piece that Caleb sometimes wears for me.

I could dive into that world, that side of things, and stay there until it's safe to come out again... except for one thing. Even there, his touch melts me, and I don't DARE let him see that part of me when he's not prepared to deal with it and I'm not prepared to deal with HIM... or with rejection.

I know damned well that under the circumstances, rejection of that part of me, from him, would shatter a portion of me that I need to stay strong for... yeah.

...and stuff...

...lots of stuff.

I want to curl up with a velvet-voiced, dark-eyed dream, listen to him purr for me. I want to be away from this... and I want it to be real... and I want a LONG talk tonight.

Previous - Next
Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven -
- Do Not Feed The Moose -




Human Pets!

Latest
Older
First

Profile
Cast
Disclaimer

Links
Pants
Porn
Addiction
Blowjobs

Notes
Guestbook

Art
Writings
Bad
Poetry
Collection
The Girls

Old-time
Radio
Techno
VideoSift
The Boxes
#submission

Hosted
at D-land