Proposal
Previous - this entry written on September 04, 2001 at 1:53 am - Next


This is going to be my last entry for at least a few hours, but there's a couple things rattling around in my head that I have to get down on... well, not paper, but you know what I mean.

First off, I want to say this: caleb, kadin, nick... I love you. This is VERY important and needs to be said. I had a long talk with Grr about the whys and wherefores of it all, discussing exactly what it is that each of you provides, why I need it, what it is you give me and do for me... and the end result, the final decision, was that I need all of you. I love all three of you, and wouldn't be complete without you. Yes, there are conditions, terms, buts, ands, ors, etc... it comes down to that one simple statement, though.

I love you.

Caleb Dixon, I love you.

Kadin Jasan Raven, I love you.

Tammuz Raven-Hall, I love you.

I always will.

And Caleb, you DO realize that sooner or later your name's gonna get a 'Raven' tacked on it too, right? *grins*

This is a VERY good example of what I intend to become... in a perfect world about five years down the road I will be handfasted to Caleb Raven-Dixon, Nick Raven-Hall, and Kadin Raven. My name? *grins* Jax Amber Raven Dixon-Hall. I know. Long name. Deal with it... I will. I'm not giving up my name for anyone, nor do I ask any of my boys except Kadin to offer theirs... and frankly, if I thought for a MOMENT that Kadin wanted to keep his ties with his parents, I might even allow him a hyphen.

But yeah. Names. They've got a lot of meaning in my book, and now you know what I want my name to be.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Other importantness. Monogamy - Grr defines it one way, I personally define it as sexual and emotional faithfulness to one person. I define 'faithfulness' as far as it applies to my relationship (I am making SOOOO many freudian slips in my typing, but I am fixing them all, so there!) in the following manner:

Faithfulness, the sort of faithfulness I want, involves being loyal to the other partners in my relationship. Not exclusive... but loyal. That means thinking of my boys FIRST, before I do anything else. That means concentrating my time and attention on them when I can. That means that although I may occasionally play with other people, it will be with their consent and permission.

Monogamy for a foursome, if you will.

That's what I'm aiming for right now. I'm still going to flirt online. I still have other pets *hugs Hida and Daris* that I'm hoping to meet, play with, and generally get to know. I still have days when my boys aren't around or aren't what I need, and I will end up finding what I need somewhere else... but I think those times will be fewer and fewer, particularly once kadin is here full-time.

I know. This is... not like me.

In a way it is, though. This is the 'me' that I've been wanting to find. The one who is content. I'm starting to feel content here. No, not all the time... that would be WIERD.

So yeah, I've come to this decision.

Caleb... Kadin... Nick... I love the three of you. You already know, at least somewhat, what I've in mind for my life and how I want the three of you involved in it. I'm making it public now.

Consider this my half of what passes for a proposal... and yes, just as I expect the on-one-knee-with-a-ring from EACH OF YOU, ALL OVER AGAIN (in Caleb's case at least), you'll each get a better one from me. This is just where I state it for the world to hear. Or read. Or whatever.

I can think of nothing more perfect than spending the rest of my life with the three of you, sharing your joys and triumphs, comforting you through your tears and sadnesses, taking care of you in every way I can and letting you take care of me when you can. I find myself picturing a life five years, ten years, twenty, down the road... and it's got the three of you in it.

I don't want to get all dramatic, but I think it's a bit late for that...... so......

*actually gets down on one knee, every part of her, every bit of her, all here, right now*

Will you marry me?

Previous - Next
Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven -
- Do Not Feed The Moose -




Human Pets!

Latest
Older
First

Profile
Cast
Disclaimer

Links
Pants
Porn
Addiction
Blowjobs

Notes
Guestbook

Art
Writings
Bad
Poetry
Collection
The Girls

Old-time
Radio
Techno
VideoSift
The Boxes
#submission

Hosted
at D-land