Reading Unsent Letters
Previous - this entry written on December 02, 2001 at 6:47 pm - Next


So I'm sitting here, hurting, and wondering about this.

Am I gonna keep jumping every time I see that name, even when I know there's no way in hell it could be her?

Am I gonna spend the rest of my life wondering if she's even REAL?

It feels almost as if she isn't. When she last emailed me, she spoke of breaking the bond... and said it was hurting her in some way. That she was feeling some of what I feel. I actually felt guilty. *blinks* I shouldn't - any link between us is as much her doing as mine, if not more so. I shouldn't feel guilty... but I do, because I still have so many thoughts, so many fantasies, so many of those little quite moments-to-myself that are filled with her presence.

It's confusing, to feel like this. Always unsure. Always thinking about the past, instead of the present and the future. Always wondering.

Wondering...

...waiting...

...hoping...

...ow.

Sorry, but my side hurts. I can't stay introspective for long when I want to rip out my intestines just to make them hurt LESS. ^8^

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