Apparently, Kadin had thought I was going to be calling him... it's a good thing I am an impatient Jax, and actually DID call him for a moment to make sure he was alive.

A new rule has been instituted: he does not allow himself to be cut, nor cut himself, without my express permission... and in turn, although he's not entirely aware I've decided this, I intend to keep from damaging myself as well.

I almost wish I had a webcam... some of the cuts on my breasts are actually kind of impressive. I want to show them off before they heal, particularly since they will NOT be repeated... they do look interesting, though. Very precise, controlled cuts, the long straight ones... the circles... those aren't quite as nice, now. Those were cut a while ago, and I have a hard time not picking at them or reopening them; particularly since when I roll over in bed just wrong some of them reopen all on their own. *winces*

It's so amusing being self-destructive, some days... really it is...

...one of the reasons I am now a devoted reader of this diary is that, like me, she's a Domme who DOESN'T have it all together. She's not rich. She's not perfectly sane. She's not the end-all and be-all of femininity. She's... *shrugs* ...she's human. She hurts. She's confused. She gets frightened. She worries. She reminds me of me. *wry grin*

In a moment I'm going to be calling Kadin back to finish our call - we have a lovely system worked out; he gives me the number for a phonecard, I call him on it the next night so the phone doesn't ring here, then we save five minutes or so for the next night I want to call, so we can repeat the process... yes, some nights he just calls me, it saves time and sometimes I just don't feel like calling. At the moment, there's a good 30 minutes on the card still, and I intend to use it all.

Caleb is coming up on the 20th of this month and leaving the 29th... Kadin is arriving the Monday before OryCon and leaving the Monday after, Caleb will be here during OryCon and for a bit either before or after, hopefully... still no immediate way to get Torian here but dammit, I WILL find one... Neil has said he might be coming down some time next year, I've met the lovely and luscious Teapotica and hope to again... Daris, who is on the 'fuckable' list, may be in Texas soon with 'Stina, who is also... you know, things are much more fun when you can talk to friends.