Let me first make it VERY clear that this is a non-discuss-able post. If I bring it up, well and good. If not, don't mention it. Don't really think too hard about it. It's just here. Nothing more.

Not meant to be overly informative or useful or a huge source of conversation.

Just here.

Religion.

Spirituality, actually, I have very little in the way of a formal religion. I believe that if you honestly, truly believe something is the right religion (or at least right for you)... then it is, at that point, perfectly valid and, as long as it doesn't include harm to people, quite good.

Even harmful, violent religions are VALID... they're just BAD, y'know?

I believe that there is an all-encompassing, all-powerful Force and/or entitie(s) and/or collective unconsciousness, soul, whatever. That this can be tapped. Encouraged. Used. Preyed on. Again, whatever.

I believe that at least for me, the best and most effective way to relate myself and my desires/needs/goals to that Force, that Power, is by viewing it as separate deities. I imagine this Force to have MPD, in short. *grin* The specific deities? Here's my Panthion, at least, a portion of it:

Kalom: The 'All-Father', think of Odin meets Thor meets Zeus meets Yaweh meets your dad. *grin* Only darker. MUCH darker. Kalom scares the crap out of me if I think about him long enough, but he's strong.

Dana: Kalom's wife. Associated with Daya in my brain. Moon, mother, but still dark. She's... hm. She seems ineffectual at times. I know she exists, but I try not to think about her.

Enki: Hacker god. 'Nough said. Read "Snow Crash", by Neil Stephenson, and you'll know why I worship him, regard him as a good link-to-the-Force, whatever.

Kuan Yin: Goddess of mercy. Hey, I know I need it eventually.

Kitsune - Japanese fox-spirits, the ultimate Furres... well, short of my next Goddess...

Bast: the goddess of cats, of all things feline, I like her. She kicks ass.

Pan: If Pan was going to invent a drink, he'd invent two kinds, one, the sex-on-a-beach kind, with the fun name... and the other, the sort of drink that gets you so fucked up that everything is good. *grin* Pan's my kind of guy.

Brigit: the triple goddess, fertility, love, protection, she does it all.

Athena: a Greek goddess of love, war, and wisdom.

Hmm... who else?

Well, in the sex-goddess category, there are my deities here... Rie, Beth, and Grr.

Sex-god is a much harder category, but there are a couple people who blow my mind consistantly... Scott-from-the-coast gets listed here, as does Slash, as does Rhett.

See, it's not that any of them are these Perfect Beings... not even Rie, no. It's that when I am around them, or talking to them, or whatever, I find myself unaccountably aroused, turned on... and these are the people who have one way or another led to incredible sex or incredible fantasies. These are people whose existance is inexplicably and permanently linked to my sex drive and my hormones.

Other deities... hm.

There's Angel... but you know a bit about her now, don't you?

There's Alex, who at least in the eyes of my pets is seen as a Perfect Being.

There's Angelina Jolie, Christina Ricci, and Johnny Depp.

There's the score of demigods and demons and whatevers that I mention in passing.

That's about it.

Next week, The Jaxian Moral Code... but for now, I'd like to leave you with a few quotes that REALLY fit my religious beliefs...

---

Once there was a thief, and the thief was God.
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

"I didn't say that I did not find Wicca attractive. It is a life-affirming system of beliefs. Theologically it's no sillier than Christianity; it seems so at times only because it doesn't have two thousand years of ornate rationalization to fall back upon. Emotionally it's at least as healthy as any other religion I'm familier with. The rituals are less elaborite than those of the older religions, but that, too, is part of the charm. But--Alaya, when you make the doctrine, the detail of ritual, more important than the connection to Deity that it is supposed to serve, you are in the process of turning Wicca into something very much like the patriarchal, authoritarian religions you detest. I don't believe in your Goddess, Alaya. I also don't believe in the Christian God. I believe in something, because I've felt it in my own life. When I was younger I used to think that it was what everybody else called God, and for a little while I did think it might be what Wicca calles the Goddess. But today I admit I don't know what it is, that I have no words for it. And when you insist that what I feel is--or should be--what you have written down on paper, or what you speak of in ritual, you loose me, Alaya. And a lot of other people, apparently."
The Last Dancer, Daniel Keys Moran

---

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear is gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Dune, Frank Herbert

---

This world has emptied me of all but the oldest purpose: tomorrow's life.
Dune, Frank Herbert

---

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars, and so on - while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man--for precisely the same reasons...In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lot of their time in behavioral research labritories running round inside wheels and conducting frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

---

Looking at his collection of unconscious bodies, Trent said, "How utterly embarassing."
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

...and the music slows, melody and harmony coming together, the sounds of a violin and a piano whispering in unison, the piano slowing to a meticulous tinkling string of chords, and her voice, strong and sad all at once, following the music, riding with it.
I love you today and no other
Don't ask me 'bout tomorrow
I love you but
Tomorrow never comes
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

Either we abandon the long-honored Theory of Relativity, or we cease to believe that we can engage in continued accurate prediction of the future. Indeed, knowing the future raises a host of questions which cannot be answered under conventional assumptions unless one first projects and Observer out of Time and, second, nullifies all movement. If you accept the Theory of Relativity, it can be shown that Time and the Observer must stand still in relationship to each other or inaccuracies will intervene. This would seem to say thiat it is impossible to engage in accurage prediction of the future. How, then, do we explain the continued seeking after this visionary goal by respected scientists?
Children Of Dune, Frank Herbert

---

THE LACK OF NOISE WORRIES YOU.
YES.
THIS IS REASONABLE. AS I UNDERSTAND YOU, YOUR IMAGE TAKES NOISE, AND FILTERS DATA; YOU, THE PLAYER, TAKE DATA, AND FILTER TRUTH. WITHOUT NOISE YOU CANNOT FIND TRUTH.
TRUTH, Trent agreed. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
WHAT TRUTH DO YOU KNOW?
NOT MUCH. I THINK--KILLING IS WRONG.
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW. ONCE I GET BEYOND THAT POINT THINGS ARE REAL FUZZY. THE MORE COMPLEX THE ARGUEMENT BECOMES, THE EASIER IT BECOMES TO REFUTE. KILLING IS WRONG.
THAT, Ring had said as only an AI without any genetic predisposition to humor is capable of, IS A PLACE TO START.
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

Suddenly there was light, heat--
--and grinning, with feral red eyes and wet sharp teeth, there was pain.
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

No miracle has ever taken place under conditions which science can accept. Experience shows, without exception, that miracles occur only in times and in countries in which miracles are believed in, and in the presence of persons who are disposed to believe in them.
Vie de Jesus, Ernest Renan

---

"You have been punished, Tsia, but you still do not know the meaning of the word 'slave'. You have never really been pushed. You have never been broken. All you have been is trained."
Cat Scratch Fever, Tara K. Harper

---

A stand-up comic with a cigarette lighter in his hand said, "And in closing, I'd like to set myself on fire for you--but that would hurt."
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

To die for an idea is to place a pretty high price on conjecture.
La Revolte des anges, Anatole France

---

"I brought some blasting plastic with me. Let's ambush the next rolligon and slaughter the Peaceforcers in it."
Trent stared at Lan. "You're crazy as a bird. Killing is wr-"
"Wrong," Lan chimed in. "I've heard you say that. A lot. But if we don't kill them now we just have to kill them later."
"You don't just have to kill anyone. Besides, no one is supposed to know we're here. You think killing a truckload of Peaceforcers is going to go unnoticed?"
"Maybe," Lan said hopefully. And after a moment, "Are you sure you don't want to fool around?"
There was a short silence.
"I'd rather not," Trent finally said.
"Why not?"
Trent tried to think up a good answer. "Well," he said, "I don't habitually sleep with boys."
"Oh? You don't habitually do it. Does that mean you do it sometimes?"
"Well, no," Trent said. "I don't do it at all." He paused. "Actually, I've slept with Jimmy Ramirez, a friend of mine on Earth."
Lan looked optimistic. "Really?"
"But we slept. I mean, that was all. It was cold and there was no heat. And only one bed; the Temple Dragons never had enough of anything."
Lan leaned back on his side of the seat. "You don't kill people and you don't have sex with boys." He examined Trent curiously. "Honestly, you're the craziest thing I ever saw."
Trent said, "You mean you've never seen one of those guys who ties up balloons into the shapes of animals?"
The Long Run, Daniel Keys Moran

---

"Sangamon's Principle," I said. "The simpler the molecule, the better the drug. So the best drug is oxygen. Only two atoms. The second-best, nitrous oxide--a mere three atoms. The third-best, ethanol--nine. Past that, you're talking lots of atoms."
"So?"
"Atoms are like people. Get lots of them together, never know what they'll do."
Zodiac, Neil Stephenson

---

It was as though, in asking for chains of iron, I had cast off thousands of invisible chains, which had held me from myself. Chains of iron I though might hold me to my own truths, not permitting me to strive for what, in the heart of me, I did not wish, for what I was not. I wondered then what was the nature of women...
Slave Girl Of Gor, John Norman

---

Ok, enough quotes. Yes, despite how it may seem, these all involve my spirituality, my beliefs, in some way. S'ok if they are confusing. I really don't want to explain, just yet. Another day, perhaps.

For now, I'm going to go wonder why kadin seems to be ignoring me.