Scared Yet Again
Previous - this entry written on 2001-05-30 at 5:50 p.m. - Next
8:30 am, pacific time, I'll be under the knife... or rather, under the nasty suction attachment. *shrug* I rescheduled. I've a lot I want to say, but right now doesn't seem like the right time. I'm hot. I'm tired. I'm queasy.
And I'm nervous again.
I find myself wondering if maybe I WANTED to get sick, so I didn't have to go through with it. I suspect my subconscious of quite a lot. This... wouldn't surprise me. But I'm not backing out. This has to be done.
Gods, I wish I had kitten here. I need someone to curl at my feet and purr and whimper, someone who will shock me back into my normal, safe, happy Domme self. I need my slaveboy. Hell, at this point I need ANY slaveboy. *sigh*
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