I wish he wasn't - I have a Caleb, and Calebs are good things, but dammit, this is the first night since he arrived that Kadin hasn't been within arm's reach. It's very confusing. I miss him.

It's almost 3:00 am, right now. We got back from coffee - Caleb and I dropped Kadin off at Grr's house, then drove home. Cal had meant to get cigarettes on the way home, but didn't. *pout* So he will be going out again. And I am up. Awake. Here. Online.

Writing.

There's a LOT of words backlogging inside my head right now, and I want to get them out... but if/when I do, it'll get far too serious. It scares me, thinking that seriously.

I don't like doing it.

I want life to be easy, and fun, and uncomplicated except for the interesting parts, and something that I can deal with. Not this current maddening tangle that has me so VERY confused.

It doesn't help that I have a nasty rash around my armpits - I know, cheerful. I am allergic to a deodorant that I borrowed, and it's leaving me in Itch Hell. Not fun. I constantly look like an ape, scratching and contorting... makes me feel very stupid, and I HATE feeling stupid.

Anyway... I think I'm going to look for amusing things to do now.

I wish Kadin was online. I know he doesn't keep Jax hours, few people do, but dammit... MY boy. Want him around, even if it's just online.

If he doesn't log on soon, I think I will go to bed, and see if I can have Caleb snuggles, which will make up for the lack of a Kadin. *grin*