Exactly what I wanted and needed... which is why he did it. He knew what I needed and wanted to make me happy. Unfortunately, he's not a Dom, not really.

It hurt him a LOT.

So... the alt went away.

AFTER leaving a part of me nameless and uncollared.

Whee.

So now I'm still hungry for that, still needing my fix, so to speak... and I've got jack shit. I'm not entirely sure how much physical pain I can take, I'm not very good at that side of things... but humiliation, emotional and mental pain, nifty all-in-the-mind tortures? Those I'm good at. Those I need. Those I crave.

So that's what I am looking for right now... that's why I am hopeful that the Tygrrr is not joking about a trip he seems to be planning, that's why the arrival of Ragin is a GOOD thing, not a bad one... that's why I am currently wearing all black again, my eyes half-open, my hands clenched, my body trembling like an addict who hasn't a cent in the world...

...addicted.

I am.

This side of me, I don't let it out often, I don't WANT it out often... but it's the part of me that can cry, that can really experience pain, that makes everything else ok.

I need it.

And right now, I ain't got it. Gah.