...When The Stars Are Shining Clear...
Previous - this entry written on March 23, 2003 at 8:46 pm - Next


Thoughts spinning out, webs and waves and high-grown walls, it's familiar... but then, at this point, everything seems that way. Familiar. Old friends, new ones, old patterns and first-times that I know will soon become habit. Torian is collared again, Caleb will be coming up soon, Kadin is small and Ryan is fierce and in all the world...

...in all the world, it seems, there are still enough faceless voiceless echoes to leave me wondering just how much is coincidence, and how much is proof on behalf of the deities I worship in my darker moments.

Prey. Someone new, someone who is drifting past the scope of my own little world, little more than a faded reflection caught out of the corner of my eye but that one glimpse is enough to startle me, to catch my attention. Mentioned, once, twice, and then words that are a perfect match to long-ago letters. Perhaps the emotions behind them match the ones I held as well, perhaps not. So tempting to find out, though.

And this time, the hunt would not be mine. Not for me, not because of me, not... not for my benefit, would be the most accurate phrasing. Someone else's prey. I'm just dying to watch the hunt, to see this delicious morsel of confusion and pain captured and turned into something fierce and deadly and wonderful.

Potential. Yes, I'm still fixated on the stuff. It's ridiculously tantalizing, to see someone who has potential and who is just being wasted, ignored or left behind or treated as a nuisance, just because no one is willing to take the time and effort to draw out those possibilities, to give the poor thing a proper existance.

Sympathy, from me? Yes, actually.

It's just another bit of my past that I can't help hoping goes better for this one than it did for me.

Hooked on music, tonight... killing time until Monday morning, drowning in Tricky and Bjork and E-Type, Sneaker Pimps and Meg Lee Chin.

Music will do nicely tonight, to replace the drugs I don't have and the alcohol I don't want, to block the pain I can't stand and the visions I can't control, to hide my heart just enough to let me survive one more night.

I wonder if this new creature writes like this at night?

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