1 large bottle of tylenol, the buffered kind so it's easier on your stomach.

1 large bottle of your favorite and most easily-tolerated type of alcohol, I personally suggest brandy mixed with warmed honey or watermelon schnapps cut with vodka.

20 vicodin, percoset, or other high-power painkillers.

Anti-nausia medication, suppositories are better than pills because the pills, you might not keep down if you're REALLY puking.

Take the tylenol with the alcohol, finishing off each. Make sure the anti-nausia medication is in place and functioning.

As the pain hits from the upset stomach and from your liver and kidneys shutting down, use the vicodin to control it. If you can get ahold of injectable drugs that you've always wanted to try, this would be a good time. Avoid hallucinogenics, you might be tricked into calling a hospital or something similar.

After about 12 hours, at which point you'll likely have started in on the vicodin, the damage to your body will be irreversible, nothing short of kidney replacement or liver replacement could salvage you.

After 24, odds are good you will be completely dead.

If for some reason this does NOT kill you immediately, repeat for three days.

I suggest cremation as a way to go, your corpse will be pretty pickled and will burn nicely. If you can get strong enough drugs, of course, you can cremate yourself after you're drunk and drugged, you won't really feel it.

Another good way to go, if you don't mind cutting (strong drugs or alcohol help here too) is slitting your wrists. Draw a warm bath and take as much asprin and advil as you can really tolerate, they both slow clotting and dilute the blood, plus they'll help with the pain of your veins collapsing.

Hop in the bath and poof, two or three hours and you're gone. Nice and peacefully, too... and it looks very dramatic, red blood in a white tub and all that. Cremation isn't as easy after this, although you CAN have an open-coffin of course, the body stays in pretty good shape, it's just all pale.

- information for the terminally depressed, which no, I am not among them... I just do my homework -