When I am obviously upset about something that doesn't involve you and yet I am talking with you about it, I do not want platitudes. I do not want to hear that it's for the best. I do not want to be told that there must be a deeper meaning, or that I should get over it, or that it's all ok. No, if I'm talking to you when I am freshly enraged, it's because dammit, I want someone to sympathize with me for five minutes so I CAN get over it and go on.

I don't care if it was for the best, I don't care that maybe there was a higher purpose to my misery, I don't care what pretty little speeches you can trot out. Save them until AFTER I've had a moment to calm down. Agree with me that he/she is silly. Growl "those bastards" about whatever profession or corporation has me incensed. And in five minutes, I'll be smiling, and calm, and willing to listen to your thoughts on why it was better for all of us that I got hurt, fucked over, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, pissed off, insulted, or whatever.

But sympathy first. Otherwise you're just going to add to the annoyance, and I will go away, and not listen to your pretty speech.

*sighs* I'm not saying this behavior pattern is rational... but it IS a pattern. It is something I recognize. Something I know is there. Something that should be obvious to any human with half a brain. Or do you really have no way of knowing that I would prefer sympathy and at least a few seconds of condolance or friendly rage or whatever, to being told that whatever it is that upset me was 'for the best' and that I should just go on with life and get over it?

I had a huge long entry written up. It ended up getting deleted accidentally. From one person I got 'maybe there was a reason for it', and 'why would you want sympathy, instead of getting over it and going on'. From a second person I got 'those bastards' and 'how frustrating'. I am now going to indeed get over it and go on... because of the second person. The first just pissed me off.

The second? A wonderful girl. The first? One of my boys, who should have known better. As I told him, the next time he's looking for sympathy, I'm going to hand him platitudes. Not because I'll still be pissed at that point, but because I want him to know what it's like.

How can this be so hard for someone to understand?