STILL not getting online much - came over to Grr's, thought I'd be online a bit there, but got way distracted. Geh.

Yes, good distractions.

Yes, I'm doing fairly well.

Yes to a lot of things.

Stuff I need to do. Stuff I should be worrying about. Stuff I shouldn't be worrying about, but am. So much stuff.

I feel like, the last few days anyway, I'm just using this box to remind people/reassure people that I am indeed alive... this is one of the slow weeks, I guess, for me-as-a-writer. Hey, be thankful it's not the obsessively updating every five minutes with seventeen entries in a day sort of weeks.

Err... yeah.

I feel surprisingly content right now, all things considered. Part of me feels... guilty... for feeling that content, since I am worried about torian and I know he's not doing well. I really do want to do what I can to help... and I KNOW I'm not doing enough... but even with that, even with my boys elsewhere and worries being worries... still, I am, right this second, content. Not hungry, not too tired or too awake, not in pain, not feeling overly sick... just... alive.

Alive.

Yeah.

There's... more, in here. There's a couple other journals I need to update, specifically The Collective and giving Nanashi a few moments to update hers and maybe putting up some more stuff in Briar-H. Maybe. There's a few things locked away in my head right now that I really don't know how to put words to.

The scratches on my back... most of them are healing, but a few of the deepest ones got infected and are refusing to completely heal. I need to put antibiotic cream on them again, and hope they get better. Don't want to explain those to a doctor.

Speaking of doctors: OHP has taken Kaiser off of their plan. So the doctors, the tests, all of that... I get to basically START OVER at a new hospital, under a new care plan. Can you say FURIOUS?

Yeah.

So I've been, today, in serious denial and frustration about that, trying to figure out even where to start to get this taken care of... gods, but I'm not looking forward to it. Oh, well.

Yeah again. And stuff. Alive. Here. Going away now, gotta get the van home. Gotta try to get some sleep. Gotta make it through this week. Last week was Thanksgiving and fevers, this week is sleep and OHP, dammit, next week had BETTER involve some quality time with my boys online.