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Previous - this entry written on February 04, 2002 at 6:06 pm - Next I think it's selfish of me, yes. You - a you whose name I won't mention - are right about that. Much of the reason I'm trying this whole avoidance thing is because I selfishly want to spare myself pain. I want him. I want to NOT want him, so that when he does a hundred little things that say over and over again 'You'll never really have me, Jax' I won't be so hurt. I want him. *sighs* I'm spoiled. I'm used to at least getting SOME of what I want. I guess it's for the best that I learn to deal with this kind of frustration. Just wish it had been someone else frustrating me... not him. WANT him. But... yeah. Jax, you should really stop writing and go get some sleep. *sighs, pads off*
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