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Previous - this entry written on April 01, 2002 at 2:22 am - Next I've put a lot of music into these entries... song titles, song lyrics, snatches and phrases. Sometimes an entire song, sometimes only a piece here and there, but the end result is a life laced with music. There's only one song that seemed... fitting... for this. I Will Remember You (by Sarah McLachlan, Seamus Egan, and Dave Merenda) I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I don't want to be forgotten... but I want to be let go. Remember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got bad How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one First off, this is not 'running away'. This is me going back to what is important, to what I NEED to take care of if I am going to survive. Work. Home. Love, if I can. Survival. The world, as it is, means a lot to me... YOU, diaryland people, friends, pets, fellow 'net addicts, you mean a lot to me. I'm not leaving because of any of you; rather, I will miss you muchly. I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standin' on the edge of something much too deep It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard I'm having kind of a breakdown, here. I'm going to get some time and space and rest. I'm going, as I said, to concentrate on survival now. I don't have the strength or the mental organization or much of anything else necessary to keep up the tower-of-cards that I've built out of emotions and daydreams. But I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light Some people... it's more than just friendship. Yes. I know what the cost will be, if I leave. The potential problems. The... finality... of some of the decisions you will be left to make. And I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I hope you choose to live. I hope you choose to fight. I hope you choose to survive. I hope you choose to remember me kindly, or hatefully, or ANYTHING... just don't forget me. And I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Weep not for the memories I have one other song that needs to wind its way through here... one other song, also by the lovely Sarah. She describes me too well, sometimes... hurts me too deep... yeah. I know. Perfection. Sweet Surrender it doesn't mean much it doesn't mean anything at all the life I've left behind me is a cold room I've crossed the last line from where I can't return where every step I took in faith betrayed me and led me from my home and sweet sweet surrender is all that I have to give I am giving in to the stresses of reality, yes. Surrendering to the norm. Don't worry, it won't last, it never does... but for now at least, I'm going to try to be productive and sane and safe and all that crap. I'm going to be real. I'm going to do what is NEEDED. I'm going to take a step, take a breath, and survive. you take me in no questions asked you strip away the ugliness that surrounds me are you an angel am I already that gone I only hope that I won't disappoint you when I'm down here on my knees and sweet sweet sweet surrender is all that I have to give Goodbye... I'll miss you all. sweet sweet sweet surrender is all that I have to give and I don't understand by the touch of your hand I would be the one to fall I miss the little things oh I miss everything I'll miss ME, too. it doesn't mean much it doesn't mean anything at all the life I left behind me is a cold room It needs to be done. Wish me luck. I'm going to face the world, and I intend to win. To those I lay claim to... I set you free. If you choose to keep the bonds and marks, know that there is no longer a promise that I will return to take them up again. To those I love... I set you free. Know that I will love always and deeply, but that survival and simplicity takes priority now. To those who are my friends... grieve for me now or grieve for me later, either way, I am gone. Once I have my life in order and actually under control, I may come back online. Maybe. Dedicate "March Of Cambreadth" to me sometime, think of me when you log on. To the world... thanks for the memories, but now I think I'm going to make some new ones. Goodbye, for now. Thanks for all the sheep. *grin* Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven - - Do Not Feed The Moose - |
