Wanting, Needing, Craving
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Conquering an addiction is hard. I have two vicodin left today - I haven't managed to take just two yet, and since I only have two left, it won't count. Yeah, I might get more soon... but I might not. So what I'm going to do is see if I can go today taking none at all, and only one tomorrow... or at MOST, one today. I think if I can get through the entire day and take none, then one tomorrow and one the day after that, then the day after THAT, maybe I can reward myself? Maybe?
It's hard to know whether or not I'm cheating, too. I mean, I can't ask anyone else for their opinions, not unless they've been through this... any of you smoke? Tried quitting? Remember how USELESS non-smokers' advice was? Same thing here.
I haven't taken any vicodin yet today. But then, I've only been up for an hour. I've taken cold medication and advil... and I still hurt. A lot.
I want to feel good.
I wish I knew where those ten vicodin had gone. I wish I could get in touch with Beth. I wish I wasn't me, just for a few days, while the withdrawals hit.
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