Watching The Clock
Previous - this entry written on November 04, 2001 at 6:23 am - Next


*whimpers*

The Urgent Care clinic opens at 9:00. I can't afford to go - even if they DO give me medication they will charge for it, and I have no money.

But I can't afford NOT to go.

Eight codeine so far, 12 advil, and a bottle of hard lemonade.

I still hurt so badly that walking, moving at all, even lying still, is agonizing.

It's abut 6:30. Sometime after 9:00 I'm going to go upstairs and wake up Deb, and beg her to come with me to the clinic.

I'm hoping that maybe she will front me the money for medication - I don't know yet how I will pay it back but I'll find a way, somehow. I don't dare sit at home any longer than that, not hurting as badly as I do.

I talked to SnowTygrrr a little bit after midnight, and Kadin apparently tried calling around 11:00, when I was in the bathroom in tears. *sighs*

I'm confused.

I would be less confused if I was not hurting, though. Right now all I know is that I need the pain to stop, and that there is no one here.

None of my boys are here. No Caleb. No Kadin. No Nick. No Alex. No Daris. No Hida. Nobody.

This is very frightening.

Stones haven't hurt this bad in a while, this is a really bad one, which leads me to suspect that there is also either a cyst or an infection adding to the pain. I don't know which it is, nor am I sure I WANT to know. I just know I'll need to drink a lot of water before I go in, so I can give urine samples without the need for a catheter... and that I am really going to hate this, going in without my Caleb. He's so wonderfully comforting, it's all ok when he is there.

Now, though, I'm alone.

Jaxes do not deal well with alone-ness and pain. Bad combination.

Gods, this hurts. Nine o'clock is so far away...

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