Most of my stuff is no longer in Gresham. Some of it is up in Ryan's room, some of it is down in the garage at Jamie's, a bit of it is at Grr's, and all of it will be relocating to Grr's new place once she's got the last paperwork signed and the keys to the place.

There's a question I want to ask those of you who know me:

Do I steal? Not counting hearts here, I'm talking actual physical property. Money especially. Do you see me as a thief? I'd like to know if this is a widely-held opinion.

Next point that's latched onto my thoughts and won't let go. You don't like him. Ok, that's... not nice, certainly, and I can't say I'm happy about it, but it IS technically your decision to make. All I want to know is why? What has he done to make you dislike him?

Or (and this, I hate to say it, is a lot of what I'm rather worried about) is this tangled up with jealousy and your long-running decision that you're being fucked over?

Next question for the audience - he writes rarely, but IS online (AOHell at work, MSN messenger at home) and not that hard to get ahold of... if you haven't had a chance to talk to him, feel free to ask and I'll get you contact info - is there anyone out there who thinks Ryan is a Bad Influence, or a Bad Person, or in any way someone who shouldn't be part of my life? Again, I'm asking seriously. It's been rather rudely brought to my attention in the last 24 hours that apparently I am, and do, and experience, and say, things that I would have sworn were in no way even associated with me... and that the people around me are apparently tarred with the same brush. So if this is what's going on, if I'm as deluded as I've now been told by someone that I am, I'd like confirmation.

See, I don't particularly WANT to be deluded. I kind of make a point of trying to understand myself, and whenever possible to understand those around me.

Apparently, again according to at least one person and it seems likely, two (although they're pointing at entirely separate problems), I'm failing miserably here. This is Not Good.

So help me out. Most of you reading this have been staring at these pages for a while, quite a few of you know me... are these accurate:

- liar
- thief, particularly of cash
- hurting everyone I come into contact with just because I like hurting everyone, all the time
- completely unreliable
- untrustworthy, if you give me something you'll never get it back, if you loan me something you'll never get it back
- two (or more) faced, not referring to MPD in any of its forms here but simply that I will say one thing and mean another
- moocher... that all I ever do is use anyone, that I've been using Caleb to get to his parents, using Grr to get to I'm-not-sure-what, using everyone I come into contact with... and that, apparently, I prefer mooching to doing anything, be it webwork or writing or having an Actual Job That Pays Actual Money.

One thing I'd like to mention here, and ANYONE who has been around me will, I hope hope hope, back me up on this: I LIKE having money to pay bills and get food and treat friends and have fun with. I am VERY aware that the only way to actually have enough cash to do the FUN stuff with is to work, so bills are paid and I have spending money. I don't like working - yes, I'm lazy, but seriously, do the rest of you REALLY prefer working to, say, reading your favorite book or taking a long hot bath? - but I am willing to do what I can.

Hell, I'm re-applying at Stream... speaking of which, I need to send off the entry form as soon as I figure out which address and phone number to put down. *wry grin* Kind of a key point, that.

Anyway. I need to take off, have laundry to do and trash to empty - yes, I DO clean, just not often. *sighs*