Wishing On A Death Star
Previous - this entry written on November 01, 2002 at 9:11 pm - Next


I was wandering through some of the answers people have given to my Generalness survey - it's very convenient, having them there. Gives me instant entry topics when I can't think of anything to write but really WANT to write.

The particular bit that caught my eye was something written by a lovely piece of blood and blackness, whose diary can be found here... one of the questions on the survey is 'what would you ask me'.

Describe myself.

Have I, recently?

I actually don't think so... thus, this entry.

I'm roughly 5' 9", weight 250 pounds. Yes, part of that IS big bones, etc... but a lot of it is also me sitting on my arse for a year, in too much pain to move around and exercise. I'm happy with how my body looks for the most part, I have pretty good breasts (although right now they're still a bit scarred up - self-mutilation of a sort, during a rather odd point in my life a month or two ago), nice wrists, good hands, beautiful eyes, half-decent ears, and a fairly nice mouth.

I don't think much of my nose.

My hair falls just below my ears, and is, at the moment, stained a shade of red that is only slightly more purple-bright than my hair is normally when I'm out in the sun often. I do have natural auborn hair, that shade that isn't brown but you can't quite call it red, but it's only that pretty copper color when I stay out in the sun for several days in a row. I am very proud of my hair.

I am not nearly as graceful as I would like to be - still not entirely used to dealing with this much weight, easily distracted, etc - but I can move well when I need to, usually. I want to take some belly-dancing or exotic dance classes, give myself a bit more self-confidence, a bit more poise, and a reason to start exercising.

I can pull off most hats, in a large part because I get so excited about the HATness of the hat that I forget to be self-conscious.

Because of systemic yeast, the skin on my fingers is frequently rough or even peeling. One ear has a red bump on it that's been there since childhood, it's not painful or anything, it's just there. If it were a tiny bit larger, it would make me look as if my ear was pointed.

I get cavities annoyingly easily.

I figit - when I'm sitting here, typing or reading or whatever, one foot is tapping, or my hands are moving, or something, anything. I can't hold still most days.

*bops* ...my heart is pumping, crying out for more, the beat is heavy and it's got to be mine...

Bad 90's music. Yay!

*purrs, spiralling, dancing, singing, happy...* Showed Caleb and a couple others transcripts of two conversations. Yeah, he IS getting something out of all of this, two somethings technically. He's getting his girl, and he's getting training that I doubt he could find at such a reasonable price.

I feel almost sorry for my boy, who had to see me vulnerable...

...when you're fencing, or boxing, or in any sort of fight, sometimes it's necessary to open yourself up, take a hit, lose a piece, in order to win.

*very, VERY slight smile*

And that's all I'll say about that.

I can't remember much of last night after about the third drink... but I do remember feeling very amused as Scott tried to repeatedly explain that he was just using me, that he wanted to make sure I understood that it was just sex and that he was sorry for using me like that. *snickers* Didn't bother to point out to him that I was using him... he seemed to be having fun apologising and explaining, even in the middle of it.

In the morning, the hospital called to say that my medication was in... Deb, woken up, tired, and kind of irritated by the snippy and rude person on the phone, opened the bedroom door to wake me up. She was, in point of fact, talking fairly loudly, but Scott (who was under the covers with me) stayed sound asleep.

This was good, since Deb was stark bloody naked. *GRIN* When she realized Scott was there too she high-tailed it back to her own room; he still stayed oblivious.

I woke up with one HELL of a hangover... and spent most of the day smiling anyway. Between getting to talk to Caleb, getting Facade in my collar, getting drunk, getting laid, getting to see the new collar that Torian will be wearing soon, getting chocolate, pixie stix, sleep, snuggles... yeah.

Yesterday was DAMNED good. *poing* It's made today seem pretty good too... and I suspect it'll keep doing that for another day or two.

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