If you need me...
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Four phone cards, three that have no time left on them and one that I can't find that I KNOW has at least and hour on it. Dug through damn near everything and I still haven't found that one.
Written a lot, stuff that won't be put up here, private stuff... but I'm writing this too. I feel more depressed now, but that's not all that startling an announcement. *blinks* I really do come off sounding like the love child of a Goth and an EmoKid. *twitch*
Becca's at home right now, seeing if she can come over. I really hope she does. I... in this mood, I have no actual desire to be around most men, and though the company of a woman is technically stronger, what I want for company right now is a friend.
Not a slaveboy all the time, not distant, not hurting, not crying, not bleeding, not hiding... just...
I miss you, y'know. "there's nothing here, but what's here is mine"
I've got Strawberry Gashes stuck in my head; playing on Winamp too, since it seems to disturb people. Situational, I guess. I only really associate it with my desire to keep going.
So why am I writing this up here? I've been asking myself that guestion for several minutes. Usually I don't end up with half the post about one thing and the rest of it about a second thing. Oh, I jump around a bit, don't get me wrong - but - right now what I'm thinking is still so tangled that I'm having a rather tricky time of keeping myself steady. No more side-jaunts.
Fish, the question. I'm writing this here because I want you to see how much you mean to me, because I find you beautiful, because I want anyone reading this to realize why it is that I can't keep from grinning every time I walk past a pet store, and looking extremely (what, you thought I used 'em all earlier)smug every time someone even HINTS at BDSM.
*smiles slightly* I love you.
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