Damn and damn and damn.

I really should know better than to spend that much time reading slashstuff... it always, ALWAYS, gets me in this mood. 's worse than reading Akasha. *sighs, shaking her head*

My mother's going to be arriving in a half an hour to take me to the doctor.

Tomorrow and Thursday are the two appointments at the clinic downtown... I still have no way to get home from them, since I will be in NO shape to take a bus home from the first one and they won't even DO the main procedure on Thursday if I don't have a ride home.

I am... upsettingly aroused.

Upsettingly because I don't have time to masturbate, I don't have the privacy to write, and I certainly don't have the boy I want here to play with. Upsettingly also because I'm going to be taking my next dose of antibiotics-and-painmeds when my mother gets here, and the damned stuff... let's just say I will be hard put to NOT tell her exactly what I'm thinking about if she asks.

*faint grin* Then again, maybe it would do her good to hear it. Shake her up a bit.

*growls softly*

So damned hungry... I feel as if I'm watching a ten-course banquet, able to see it, to smell it... but not allowed to eat a single bite. Frustrating. It gets so hard to hold back, times like this. It's even harder when I know, KNOW, that if I made the choice it would stick... it would last... and oh, it would be beautiful...

*quickly stifles that train of thought*

Doctor.

Mother.

Needles.

Surely those will be enough to calm me down... right?