Confession
Previous - this entry written on 2001-03-31 at 8:57 p.m. - Next


*the girl walks down the long, long aisle to the confession booth, staring at the carvings in the ends of the pews, scuffing her feet, wondering why this path seems to get longer each time she walks it. Finally she arrives, toes curling and hands shaking... she opens the door and slides in, her eyes closing for a moment, then opening to strain as she tries to adjust to the dimness of the little room she now sits in.*



Forgive me, Kalom, for I have sinned.



I have let another man touch me, I have broken the sacred vows I made at the altar. I let him hurt and abuse me as only my Master has the right to do, I behaved in a way unbecoming of an owned slave.



*from all over the church, similar voices raised, the murmur and flow ebbing over her...*



Forgive me, Kalom, for I have sinned.



I have forgotten the blood sacrifices that were due to you, I have failed to give my offering to the darkened temple and to the shadows. I have been deficient in my duties, not the obedient girl I should be.



Forgive me, Kalom, for I have sinned.



I let one of my slavetoys go without punishment yesterday, allowing him to become spoiled. I did not beat him when he spoke without permission. Forgive me for my leniency, oh God.



Forgive me, Kalom, for I have sinned.



I have taken another woman to my bed, denying my four wives their rightful due. I have betrayed my concubines as well with this woman, treating her as a wife, rather than as a slut. My jealousy for her owner overwhelmed me, and I took her to my bed as well, forgive me for harming my wives so.



*the girl trembled as she listened, wondering how many penances would be given, how many slaves would be beaten five times for a discipline their owner forgot to give once, how many men would submit to their concubines, their wives, tonight... how many slavegirls would beg their masters or mistresses for their penance, for the pain and the discipline that they lived on. She looked around the church as she listened to the priest read off her list of punishments... the stained-glass windows were lit up by the setting sun, the night's business just beginning. All over the church, members were emerging, preparing for their day... and slaves like her were scurrying to serve them, hunting their owners, bodies trembling in the cold of the ancient cathedral.

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