It's the ninth, officially.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, Angel's return plans wouldn't have gotten re-routed, and in a few hours I'd be seeing her.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, I'd already have health insurance, and be able to go see the doctor about the pain-that-will-not-die.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, I'd have some nice, hearty, meaty dish, some choco-coffe-mocha-whatever ice cream, and maybe even a bit of watermelon.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, I'd be roughly four sizes smaller (except my breasts, which would only be one size smaller), with most of the remaining stuff muscle.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, Nick and Kadin and Caleb would all three be HERE, with good, well-paying jobs that made them very happy and that they enjoyed, Cal and Kadin living with me, Nick and his girls living in the other half of our incredibly cool Victorian-style duplex.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, long-distance phone calls to friends in other states, other countries, even other continents, would be inexpensive if not free.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, my health problems would be a thing of the past - when I went in to see the doctor, he'd give me some nifty chocolate-flavored tablet to eat that would completely cure all my problems.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, every happy and fun drug known to man would be legal and easy to find. No one would harass you for your choice of recreational substance - if you choose to kill yourself quickly, slowly, or not at all, it's YOUR right to choose.

If this were the reality I wish I were living in, I would be happy enough that I would not need or want to write up long entries about the life I wish I had.