And to add to the depression...

Angry.

Frustrated.

Upset.

Annoyed.

Irritated.

I was already depressed, already in pain, I didn't need this too. I keep forgetting that Arrasto is... innocent? Inexperienced? Something like that.

I keep forgetting that he doesn't understand how much it bothers me when I ask a question and get not only no useful answer, but an outright denial of any useful answer.

I thought I had explained it... but let me try again, here, since I doubt I'm going to feel pleasant enough to want to talk directly to him for a while.

See, first off, you don't start to say things, then stop midway. If you're going to start at all, you're going to make me curious, and you'd then better be prepared to finish what you start.

Second, if I ask you something, it doesn't mean I don't care, or that I don't want to know the answer really. It means TELL ME OR I'LL BE INCREDIBLY PISSED.

As in breaking-things pissed.

I was already hungry. Already hurting. Already upset.

*sighs*

And I keep telling myself I should be patient, I should teach him, not get upset, try to explain to him WHY I'm upset...

...he's a big boy. If he couldn't figure it out during the ten minutes I spent before I finally gave up, then really, isn't that at least a LITTLE bit his fault? Really?

*sighs again*

I'm not at all happy.

I keep wanting to explain it to him the same way I would explain it to Kadin... by quite calmly and neatly ripping him apart until I can force it in at the subconscious level, where he WON'T FUCKING FORGET IT.

But... no.

He's innocent.

Inexperienced.

Breakable.

Mustn't break him...

...

...

...

...yet.