Went out to Rocky Coffee last night - I couldn't get the van until then, particularly because it wasn't until then that it occurred to me to call Grr and get her to check email (none of the computers here would log online yesterday, it SO sucked) so I could even be sure I needed to go.

I did.

And guess what? Rocky was cancelled. They had the Coffee at midnight. So the person I'd hoped to meet was not there... and after driving out to Grr's house to get advice, company, and 'cos said person lives near Grr, found out that said person would also not be home for a bloody long time, courtesy of a man.

*grrs softly* Men.

Mind you, I don't think women are likely to HELP right now... I'm just... frustrated. VERY frustrated.

Nick is teasing me (and knows he's teasing me) with faint glimpses of Kim... in some ways it's only fair, I mean, he's been in the military for HOW long now without anything, anyone? So I can't blame him entirely. Still bothers me, though. I get to talk to Kadin occasionally... but with no privacy on his part, and because he's so sad I try to stay cheerful and sweet and all, not actually being CRUEL, when in reality that's ALL I want to do...

...Daris, my creature, although I suspect I COULD be cruel to him, honestly, I don't want to. It's too much fun being something resembling equals. *shrugs* Besides... *grins suddenly* ...he knows a few of the wrong characters of mine on Furc. I'm not 100% sure he'd even take it seriously if I tried.

And Arrasto... *blinks... falls silent for a LONG time* ...Arrasto, I suspect, knows damned well what I might be capable of, and would be fully capable of matching every shift of my mood, and could actually enjoy it. He has the same potential that Kadin showed when I first met him... the same fire, the same... ehh. Never mind that. NO explanations there. *slight smile* My hunting habits are my own. But yeah... Arrasto could, and would, satisfy quite nicely...

...and he won't.

Because, sadly, he's rational. He not only knows what I might be capable of but knows where it could lead, and he's wise enough not to jump into anything like that unless and until he is sure he wants it. *shrugs* Which is good, and I admire him for it, but damn it's frustrating.

*grins suddenly at a thought that has been flickering in and out of her normal thought-processes for a while now*

On the other paw, I know someone clever, expressive, quite intelligent, unattached, easily obsessed, and even cute... but THAT would just be SO many complications that really, I can't think about it. Or even talk about it in a way that involves names. *shruggles, still grinning* Amusing thought, though.

Anyway...

...oh, one other thing...

*hugs Rhett*

...just because I'm not getting on ICQ doesn't mean I'm going to forget you... or our talks... I promise. *lick*

Ok. Update done. I go away now.