I've managed to seriously bruise the foot I sprained, covering two toes and a chunk of Actual Foot. I saw it starting to form last night but courtesy of a couple of Hornsby's, I didn't really feel it until I tripped on the way to bed. I think that added a bit, 'cos now it's large and extremely painful. *twitch*

I...

...y'know, Backing Off is one of the hardest things to do. Since it's something that I need my lovers to do sometimes, I take it seriously. Since it's something that I only ask for when it's important, I assume it's important when someone else asks. It's aweful hard though, sitting and waiting and wondering. I can't help wanting to ask questions, to poke and prod and pounce.

Won't, though. I know it would upset me if someone did that when I needed space, time.

Still here, little one. Still here, always. Know I'm missing you.

Ehh.

I'm still out in Gresham - if you've caught much news you likely heard that Portland in general got massively snowed in New Year's Day and is still kinda scary for driving. Caleb's here until Sunday 'cos he couldn't get to the airport, Matt's still here 'cos he couldn't drive home, ditto Candice. I have no idea how or when I'm getting home at this point, since Becca is still out on Tyson's family farm and no one here is really willing to risk the roads yet. Maybe when it warms up later in the day. *shruggles*

I'm down to two vicodin already. I know I should have rationed them more carefully but dammit, it freaking HURTS. I need to call and schedule an early appointment with my doctor. I need to call OHP and bitch at them. I need... ehh. I need a lot of things but really, there's only a few that I would waste a wish on if I had one.

So, just in case there's a genie listening:

I wish I had perfect health.

I wish all of my loves, lovers, and friends were in the same city as I am and got along well with each other.

I wish I had a BIG SUV and driver to go with it, either one of my boys or someone else who doesn't expect payment often.

I wish I had enough money to keep myself and those I care about fed, clothed, sheltered, and provided for medically.

I wish that when I needed to let go, I could do so.

I wish that when I needed to hold on, I could do so.

*sighs*

I wish you were here. All of you.

Oh, and while I'm wishing, I wish I could fly. I've always wanted to be able to do that.

Right now while I'm still in Gresham, the phone connection is terrible. Once I'm back in Beaverton, any time after noon and before midnight, pretty much.