Goddammit I just want to get some sleep... *twitch*
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Working on a new layout. Still awake, dammit. WTF, insomnia now? Admittedly I've spent much of the last two days asleep but now I would like to sleep and I'm stuck awake, this is SO not cool. *sigh* Been uploading a bunch of stuff to DevArt lately, working on random layouty things for other people as well, trying to keep my brain in neutral, to relax...

...it's not working. *twitch* I'm having One Of Those Moods. Which only figures, I just started my period as well (hi, this is the TMI fairy) and so my hormone levels, which still aren't fully recovered from the miscarriage, are going even more wonky. Of COURSE I'm going to be wanting bizarre things and constantly changing my mind and generally feeling like shit.

Someone please shoot me now? Or get me a decent supply of vicodin, or some good chocolate, or otherwise help me adjust my mood, pain level, and/or hormone level? 'cos I am VERY not going to be able to cope with this and recover, and that will be BAD, because Caleb is sick too and Puppy is heading into a downward spiral of his own and Nreshan is either working or asleep 99% of the time and Kadin is more or less the same and frankly I am seeing all the warning signs of a major freak-out panic attack and seizure approaching and y'know, I'd like to head it off BEFORE it happens.

Not that I'm really expecting to have success there. *sigh* Two days until my birthday and I've already been in the ER twice this week - want to bet I get a third trip as a birthday present? I don't get to see the internist until the 18th-or-19th, and there's no guarantee that the first visit will result in anything useful anyway; I plan to ask about going back on amatryptaline, about maintanance-doses of oxycodone until we can get things straightened out, about diabetes tests, about b-shots, about lunesta, about inhalers, about anything that might help keep me capable of functioning while we work on this... and already I'm shuddering, just imagining how much it's all going to cost.

Early morning depression. Whee. I am really not doing well. Ehh, it's not like that's news, though. *shrug* I've been really not doing well for a long, long time.

It'd be nice if it would stop getting WORSE though. I'd like that.

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