Take me down, turn me inside out...
Previous - this entry written on October 28, 2007 at 10:41 pm - Next
It's sorta like sex. There's this moment where you realize your body has just gone where your mind can't follow, it's all pleasure and joy and relief, my god the relief. A few little pills and suddenly nothing matters, nothing hurts.
Have you noticed that I talk about this a lot? I'm afraid if I don't keep speaking about it, reminding myself that it's a problem, something I need to Deal With, I'll just get lost in it and never come back. 's funny that something that honestly terrifies me can make me so happy and content at the same time as it frightens me. I thought only Rhett could do that. *wry grin*
I don't have anything else important to say; I'm trying to figure out something to eat, still no-wheat no-milk, and we have pretty much jack-all other than ramen and pasta, so yeah. Kinda hungry, not much I can do about it. Cate's over at Dixon House, it's the Shadowrun game, and I knew if I went over with her I'd end up wanting to come home partway through. Simpler to just stay here. What I forgot is that I'd want to, y'know, EAT. *sigh*
Amatryptaline time, I guess. At least then I'll be unconscious.
Take me down, turn me inside out
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show me all the dirt beneath my skin
force my gaze into the shadows
maybe then I'll finally begin
to see the dark and death
lurking in my breath
waiting for the moment it can stand
take my hand
draw me further down into the night
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