I'm currently depressed. Worried. Nothing new, right? At least this time it's sort-of-new reasons for depression. I'm tempted to write about them but really, why would I want to? My writing seems to be taken wrong, taken out-of-context and blown out of proportion. Then again, I promised myself I would NOT censor any of this... so here goes:

Slash. First and foremost of my worries, my confusions... and yet, someone who makes me VERY happy. Gah. Last night I was at his place and our timing was SOOOO off, it wasn't even funny. He wanted to let Nre out - his sub side. I wanted to see it. And yet I was tired, he was polite... and so nothing happened. Somehow, I came out of this feeling guilty. Don't know why.

I'm good at feeling guilty.

Kadin. He's going to have to go back to Canada more than likely. I do not want this to happen... right? Much confusion.

Rob. You know, he rants at me, then promises all sorts of nice and useful things, then says he loves me, then rants again... but really, how many of his promises has he kept? I've heard him promise so many things to Grr... and then fail to come through. What does that say about his promises to me? Again, confusion. I want to like him, really I do, but dammit, it's starting to piss me off.

Incidentally, for those of you who are wondering how it is that I can update my journal but not write you huge personal emails or go visit for hours - simple. I'm writing this at 11:30 in the fucking morning, tired, about to go back to bed. I write in here because it's one place you all look. I write here so I do NOT have to write giant complicated emails to all of you. No, I don't hate you. YES, I am tired.

This is me, tired.

This is me, stressed.

This is me, just wanting to go back to sleep.

Any questions?