I talked for a few minutes to Nre... he had one of those first times over the weekend - no, he didn't get laid. No, I'm not going into details. He can go get a journal of his own and tell all if he feels like. Suffice to say that I am amused, and content... I need say nothing more, here.

Currently I am sitting, the phone tucked between my ear and shoulder, writing this up in Word. Why? Because last night I rather idiotically decided it had really been long enough, it should be perfectly fine to have sex with Caleb, I was tired, frustrated, aroused, and dammit, I wanted satisfaction! End result? I wake up this morning in pain. *sigh* Anyone out there have a replacement body I can borrow for a while? I'm getting tired of this one again. I want vicodin, I want the pain to stop... and I know I'll have to schedule an appointment to talk to the doctor about how much pain medication I've been taking. He'll want to know why I take so much. And I'll have to explain YET AGAIN that when you have a new kidney stone every month, when you have multiple teeth pulled, when you are in hellish pain nearly constantly, and 800mg Advil equivilants do jack shit for you, you really have very little options but to take something stronger. Ear infections. Horrific sore throats, bad enough to leave me in tears. Bladder infections. Kidney infections. People shoving f'ing catheters in me without a second thought. Enough pelvic pain to make it impossible for me to even breathe or walk without crying.

I've had people (Deb) tell me that I should just learn to deal with the pain, to get used to it. *snickers* It's hard to 'get used to it' when it ups itself every day, practically. Hell, I'm not screaming 24/7, I'm actually managing to occasionally be productive and useful, I'm not a little whimpering ball all the time, a year ago I didn't even know this level of pain EXISTED and I'm handling it a helll of a lot better than most people. Yes. I want drugs for it. Realistically though, oh Gentle Reader, why shouldn't I want drugs for it? Drugs make the pain stop, they help me heal quicker, they make it easier to get through my day and to get through life in general. Why the HELL shouldn't I want them?

So I'm going to have to explain that whole thing to the doctor. It's not going to be easy - particularly since he knows damn well just how addictive Vicodin is. I think the fact that I have asked on occaison NOT to be given vicodin shoud count for something, shouldn't it? And the fact that I really AM in pain almost constantly should have some meaning, right? *soft sigh* You'd think so.

And you'd be wrong.