...although I shouldn't be. I'm supposed to only be taking five oxycodone a day... but I checked my pill intake. I've been hitting MUCH more than that. In eight days, I've gotten rid of a hundred pills. ONE HUNDRED. That should have lasted me twenty days. Instead, I've taken over twelve pills a day.

Drug addict.

Many of those, I threw up five minutes after I took them... easily 20, likely more, went up and out within 5-10 minutes. That brings me down to 80. Five of them I managed to drop into the toilet when I was trying to take them after I'd... well, it wasn't pretty, and it hurt, and I was crying so hard I couldn't see straight, and thus dropped them. That's 75. Five of them now I've given away to people who needed them as much or more than I did. That's 70. Less than 10 pills a day, now. *sighs* When you can be taking between 6-10 pills a day and still be hurting more than should be humanly possible, for that matter still be able to walk, talk, and behave like a human being other than not being able to drive, something is seriously wrong.

But according to my pain contract with the doctor, I'm only allowed five pills a day.

Like I said... drug addict.

I just walked away from this entry...

...and it is now 3:45 in the morning... wow.

Do I feel sheepish.

And I hadn't even taken any pills that time!