I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you...

...that said...

...well, I was going to write. Was going to write a lot, but it's all slipping away on music and the pleasure and comfort of touch. Need to be touched, right now. Not... not made real, not made solid, that's the LAST thing I could want right now... but reassured, and left to fly.

Which, just to add to the frustration, isn't something I am entirely capable of. Mostly because I am stone cold sober and locked into an earthbound body, head and heart working to keep me breathing, not dreaming as they SHOULD be.

Bah.

Not looking forward to Wednesday. Not looking forward to Thursday. Tomorrow though, that might not be too horrible.

I'm kind of tired. Not sleepy, not... not anything useful, really. But tired. Like everyone else here, I need a break. It's not just me, I know that, everyone here could use some time off and some way to relax, but I can't exactly write for them, only me. So I write for me.

Grr-lady... gah. I'm sorry I've been making things worse, and I'll keep my trap shut (and, more useful, Ryan and I are arranging it so I get out and stay safely IN more often, so I won't be on edge and therefor will be MUCH less likely to bitch and whine). I know that sometimes you don't know what's bothering you until after it goes over-the-top, but please, talk to me? I don't want anything to come between us, and... yeah. I miss Grr-snuggles and happiness. Want 'em back.

And, being an at least semi-intelligent Jax, I will do the first thing to make 'em return: I will do whatever I can to stop whining. *grins*

Which, among other things, will mean writing in here more. *hugs for the Grr* Please don't get upset because of my diaryranting, I know that you at least understand the need to let it out SOMEWHERE.

Anyway. Ryan's off brushing teeth and I need to grab painkillers and his antibiotic and my drinks and get myself ready for bed, I do I do! Sleep will be good, if/when it arrives.

Oh, and guess what? Caleb has updated not once, but TWICE in the last few days! Go read. *grins, sends hugs and fondles to her Caleb*