We did coffee. By 'we' I mean Grr and her featherboy, Mana and her cub, the two Smalls of Grr's, myself, and Spike-boy, who really needs a diary... I should see if spike-boy is taken. *grins*

They are playing "Iris" now.

Songs that cut a tad too deep. I should make a list of those. "Iris" would be damned high on the list... "Wolfen One", "Not An Addict", and "Hallelujah" are on there too. I need to write up this list, then anyone foolish enough to play them around me would know what they were doing and could thus be loved or chastized as is required. *sighs*

How do I explain that it's not the mood itself that bothers me, not the feelings the song evokes... rather, it's the knowledge that those feelings and that mood is inappropriate.

I'd give up forever to touch you... ...you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now... ...when sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight... ...and I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand... ...I just want you to know who I am...

I just want you to know who I am.

I just want you to understand why I behave the ways I do, why I don't always make sense, why I don't always seem quite stable.

...yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive...

It's painful, hearing this. Too many memories, and too much meaning between the words, between the notes. This is so very a rip-you-open song.

Grr: You know you're going to. Just get over it and move on.

Jax, NOT saying this aloud: I know. I hate it, but I know.

*sighs* I so don't understand this. Simple. What happened to that 'simple' I was looking for?

...and the music rises, loud, louder, words pouring out and at the moment the music turns into something so far beyond heartache that I don't even have words for it, at the moment I ask where that simplicity is, at the moment I feel utterly lost... he leans against me and everything feels... normal... right... again. *sighs a LOT*

Gods, I'm nuts. I think I need to get more sleep. Sleep will make this all seem rational again, right?

Sleep.

Must sleep.