Unending Pain, Unending Frustration
Previous - this entry written on November 24, 2001 at 11:05 am - Next
So.Morning. My mother might be dropping by today - this is not a happy thing. I can't do anything - no OHP stuff, no urologist call, no useful ANYTHING - until Monday. I can't even stay at the computer for long without ending up in tears, aching horribly. Stupid ER doctor. Stupid OHP office. Stupid Jax, for ever existing in the middle of this madness. Yes, I'm getting REALLY depressed. Although thank you for the flowers, person-who-sent-flowers-and-shall-remain-nameless-for-now-cos-there-was-no-useful-name-on-the-card... *takes a deep breath* ...that was fun. Anyway. Morning. Grr, please talk to Manna. Right now you and she are my best hope at anything close to survival until Monday. I can't cope with this much pain for long. It's worse than giving birth was. It's worse that it was when the stone was in, and THAT was worse than giving birth. This seriously hurts. Please... I don't say this too often, but when I do, I mean it... please, help me? *shudders* I feel like if I show any weakness, the wolves of the world will tear me apart. Like I can't really ask for help without blustering and being all tough about it, except MAYBE in the privacy of my own (sort-of) home, asking Caleb. I feel like I've just opened the door to the wolves. Ehh... let them come. Either I'll fight them off and survive... or the pain will stop 'cos I won't have survived. No middle ground here. Did I mention this really hurts? *sighs*
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