Now then. If you haven't already, go read the last two entries Alex read.

That, oh Loyal Readers, is poetry. Beauty. And it's horrible because he is NOT enjoying it, he does NOT want it to happen. *sighs* I've heard the story of Maestro from him... and I still can't decide if I am in awe of this person or just want to kill him. He hurt someone I care about... but he also saved him.

*blinks*

Amazing how that works, isn't it?

And it reminds me in some very odd ways of Angel... *shrugs slowly, thinking*

But yeah. I'm worried about him. Fortunately, just as this worry-level goes up, my worries about t'lesh are going down a bit; he's back online and apparently doing... err... as well as can be expected? *wry grin*

There is a Scott on my computer downstairs, fighting with Juno and booting me quite rudely out of Messenger... bad Scott. But hey, at least he didn't try to kick me off THIS computer.

*blinkblinks*

Err... yes. Yes, I think I am just a bit depressed. Not the 'gloom and doom' sort of depressed, thank the gods. No, this one is MUCH more specific, and involves me having woken up with nightmares half an hour ago, involves the fact that I have a VERY empty cage, involves the fact that I still haven't heard Word One from Snowtygrrr, slept through my kitten calling me at some point tonight (I know I missed it 'cos the message from him is now on the machine and wasn't there when I went to bed)...

...I am frustrated. I am hungry. I am wanting something so badly and so strongly that it is fast becoming all I can think about.

And THAT depresses me, because I know I can't have it. I know I won't have it. I know I don't get to feed my hungers, not for a long time.

It's much like watching yourself be eaten alive, this feeling. Not pleasant, not good. And there's the horrible certainty that if it continues, you'll be gone, lost within it, devoured by your own self trying to satisfy the hunger you feel.

*shrugs*

Ehh.