...I feel as if I'm falling apart...

...it's a long, slow, and rather painful dive into submission that hits occasionally. It's been triggered on and off a bit over the last few weeks and from last night onward it's been almost nonstop.

It doesn't help that currently, the men I focus on most seem more than willing to play the role of Dom.

If I could figure out how, I would OD on it... get it out of my system for a while, go back to being Domme for a week. Unfortunately, each dose I get seems to make me want more, rather than make me thrust away from it... and at the same time, it's making me miserable. An odd conflict indeed, and one I can't seem to quite wrap myself around.

I am a very confused mouse.

I want so many things... listing them would be pointless. But right now I'd settle for soothing words, for the chance to be properly small, to just curl up and tuck my tail over my ears and not have to worry about any of this.

And yet... and yet... I want to be back in control...

...how do I choose?

How do I even BEGIN to choose?