I'm deleting old guestbook entries, since it keeps sending me email SAYING I have new ones but they don't show up, I am guessing it's full. It is hard to delete 'em.

I'm talking with Arrasto, who so far seems to be taking much of everything in stride - an amazing talent - and who is being wonderful and caring. *wry grin* Now if only he were HERE...

...Kenji was quite cool today too, he took me to the appointment and after, we went to Chang's... all-you-can-eat stirfry, choose your own ingredients, choose your own sauces, YUM. He kicks ass. Even if he did say something rather demented.

I don't know what it is I want to say. I DO know I want to scream... I want to throw things... I want someone to take even just a little bit of this pain out on, someone to help me balance the agony, or even someone to give me the sorts of pain that are safe, that make it OK. I get neither, currently. Can't ask for either. Can't find either.

*shrugs*

It'll be ok.

It is ok.

Always, ok.

Right?