It was all, really. Even back then, it stretched endlessly into the nothingness. The ocean, the sand... I can understand why old religions see the Goddess in the waves and the sweetgrass, the feel of stone, the taste of salt. Everything was there. Fire on the beach, driftwood burning. Earth, air, fire, water, and the feel of movement, dancing outside myself, watching her face, somehow able to see my own. Disconnected from the physical reality of the moment and lost in the true reality of it, everything. Everything.

Everything.

Anyone who's ever had a heart
Wouldn't turn around and break it
And anyone who's ever played a part
Wouldn't turn around and hate it

Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Sweet, sweet Jane
You're waiting
For Jimmy down in the alley
Waiting there
For him to come back home
Waiting down on the corner
And thinking of ways
To get back home

Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Sweet, sweet Jane
Anyone who's ever had a dream
Anyone who's ever played a part
Anyone who's ever been lonely
And anyone who's ever split apart

Music is so closely interwoven with my soul that most days I can't believe the constant soundtrack in my head isn't real, that other people can't hear it, feel it, even see it.

*shrugs slightly*

Last night... last night I spent a good hour cursing at the computer, drinking wine coolers once the anti-nausia medication had kicked in. Last night I fell asleep thinking of leather, steel, velvet, skin soft as anything and eyes so deep you could tumble into them and never find your way back. Last night I had a hard time believing that when I woke up this morning, I would still remember.

Parts of last night were hell. It was beautiful.

That right there tells you a lot about my life.