Words tumbling around in my head... obsession and lust, love and friendship, attraction, desire, distance, forever, perfect, beautiful, lonely, aching, hungry, there is a universe of words lurking just behind my eyes.

Today I've learned that waking up from a deep, dreamless sleep induced by a double-dose of nyquil, about half of a Bacardi Silver, an antihistamine, a double-dose of antibiotics for the damned bladder infection that I have no and don't want, and a little bit of valium is... surprisingly pleasant.

I woke up slowly, comfortably.

The morning just kind of curled up around me and let me see it all slowly, warmly, my arms around someone snuggly and my head filled with the same slow rush that I get about three minutes after a good orgasm.

I'm still in that state... weak, my hands trembling just slightly, my knees buckling, my head spinning ever-so-slightly and this flush on my cheeks... I look like I just got fucked. I do. It's rather amusing.

Particularly since I have, at this point, NOT had sex in long enough that I'm starting to get all cavegirl. *shrugs* I need to get home for a few days... I really do miss falling asleep with a dildo tucked up inside, a vibrator going on low speed between my legs, my nipples brushing the sheets. Yes, I can actually sleep like that... it's comforting in its own way, and I wake up writhing, shifting, cumming...

...it's a good way to start the day, if you don't have an actual person to share that with.

Late-night rambles tend to fade in the morning, their importance dancing back, slipping into shadows... all the monsters of sleepless nights have been defeated for now, Prince Valium to the rescue, and I feel... sleepy, slightly... I am stretching a lot, my pupils are VERY dialated... but there is no 'hangover' in the more traditional sense of the word, just this blissful slow haze.

Valium makes an excellent piggyback drug - as someone recently phrased it, it lets my body relax enough that over-the-counter painkillers (and my big yellow horsepills) can actually do their work.

Add in NyQuil... which, btw, I DID have the horrid sore throat and elevated temperature and body aches that made it sound good, it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing... and a bit more alcohol on top of it all...

*shrugs*

I mix and match as necessary. Last night I slept like a log.

Now if I can just find a way to get in touch with Caleb.

See, my computer, the one that has a f'ing LOT of my information on it? Nonfunctional. So we're gonna fight with it today and as soon as I can get at the information I need, I will be calling Caleb, even if it's just to leave a message at the hotel desk for him, something, anything... and then call him again tonight.

I miss him.

*shrugs slowly and curls up, tugging an Arrasto close to snuggle, purring faintly and hugging tightly and feeling very very sore...*