Dreaming Of...
Previous - this entry written on November 17, 2001 at 5:28 pm - Next


Iri Sa.

"I am," he says, and my world crumbles, collapses into ashes, only to be reborn... no letter.

*sigh*

I am going to destroy the postal service... or just rewrite and resend - most of it was saved as a text file anyway.

There is a new messenger program that Cal is trying out, that is everything-in-one, and I might give it a try soonish.

For now, 'tis just me.

Just me.

And he is, he exists, he is, and I miss him so much...

*soft sigh*

My dream...

...a huge house. Not TOO huge, but big enough to swing a cat, whether the cat liked it or not. Comfy, with lots of overstuffed furniture, and soft cushions, and throw rugs, and blankets, and a fireplace full of ashes and warmth.

A room for Caleb, a room for Kadin, a room for me. Guestrooms, one of them that was designated Nick's room, but that he only used half the time 'cos he had a house nearby with his girls.

A cage in my bedroom, next to the bed.

Chains on the walls, and huge tapestries of unicorns and dragons, and bookcases groaning with their treasures overflowing them.

Thanksgiving dinner, with my boys, and Nick's girls, and maybe the Grr household.

Lots of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, salad, gravy, corn, biscuits, all the pumpkin pie and pecan pie we can eat... a table laden with treats. Everyone eating when they felt like it, stopping to talk, starting again, the table laid out buffet-style and all of us gathered in the main room near the fire, drinking hot spiced apple cider, even Maia drinking some out of her tippy-cup.

A pan on the stove, simmering slowly, with cinnamon sticks and lemon peel and cloves in it, so that the house always smells good.

Warm beds, blankets, hidabeds, even a little nest of pillows and cushions for Maia, and room for Rhi's bed-thing near the guestbed that Grr would crash in.

Snuggles for me - falling asleep between Kadin and Caleb, after a night spent hugging and kissing Nick, reassuring myself he was ok, while we talked, all of us talking and laughing and happy.

Warmth, from the fire and from blankets and from bodies and from good cheerful conversation and the hot cider.

Contentment.

Safety.

Love.

That's my dream, tonight.

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