...yep, I'm blasting music. "Hey Pretty" - the version without a male voice talking, just Poe singing actual verses - "Lady Marmalade" which is becomming an obsession with me - and "500 Miles", the Gimme Gimmes version.

Hey, pretty... don't you want to take a ride with me...

...I feel better. I got a nonstop hole in my head... err.. sorry. Music.

Really, I do feel better.

Except that whole still-feeling-violent thing.

That's not quite gone away.

It seems to be building, and I want it GONE.

Hey pretty... don't you want to take a slide... to my world... hey, pretty... my pretty baby...

I miss Kadin.

I miss ANYONE that I can draw tears from, just now. Anyone I can hurt so easily and perfectly.

And yeah, I'm building him up a bit much... prob'ly more than he deserves.

But hey. He's my boy. I get to do that.

And now... can't you feel me now... *beats away the music for a moment* ...now I want him here.

I want someone I can hurt without guilt, without recriminations, without anything except the knowledge that I will heal him afterward.

I want to turn his universe upside-down.

*sighs*

I am a very confused Jax.