Caleb is upstairs in bed, feeling sick, trying to get to sleep. I'm down here, running back and forth from the bathroom to the computer, waiting for painkillers, anti-nausia stuff, and alcohol to kick in. It's been one hell of an odd day.

Oh, and there's someone whose livejournal handle is Jaxian. Not sure yet if that's cool, or just weird.

Goddammit, Deb, when I tell you I'm downloading songs that does NOT mean go get on the computer, then SHUT IT DOWN COMPLETELY ten minutes later. Argh.

Trying to get a song from - and yes, I know this is sad - the "8 Mile" soundtrack. Specifically, the Eminem one. Damn.

In all seriousness, if you haven't heard this song, you should.

Can't find a good version. Can't find the lyrics online. Can't find anything, right now... talked briefly to kadin and will soon have caleb-snuggles and I know right now torian is thinking or dreaming of me... Rhett is in Canada hunting pierced girls, Alex is in Oxford working his tail off and being delicious, gods only know where Snowtygrrr is, Nick is in the army, Hida is being irritating, Nreshan is working, Daris is dreaming, and me?

I'm sitting here, wondering why I keep waking up.

Yeah. Maybe it's that time of the month. Or minute.

Or something.

...there goes gravity...

Yeah. That's me, floating away.

If you had... one shot... one opportunity... to seize everything you ever wanted... one moment... could you capture it... or just let it slip?

Live for the moment. Live for the music. Live...

*deletes a rather odd bit of rhyming stuff that only makes sense to her, shrugs*

I don't know if I could.

Maybe I've had that one shot, and not seen it, or not taken it. Maybe I didn't just hear gunfire... what the fuck?

*stares out the window*

This is not East L.A. or anything, this is GRESHAM, what the FUCK?

Oh. Wait. Crazy guy.

Ehh. Fuckim.

Went out to Chang's with Rhia, Rob, Anthony, and someone who I at first thought was someone Rie had mentioned once but who turned out to be Anthony's kid...

...lose yourself in the moment...

I need to get off the computer soon. Finally found a good version of "Lose Yourself" to download.

Gods.

My body is arguing with me. Maybe it'll win. Maybe I will.

Gotta remember to bring Caleb a glass of water.

Gotta remember not to play with razor blades tonight.

Gotta remember that I'll be FINE in the morning... after all, tomorrow the new season of Buffy starts. Can you say "Pathetic fangirl in lust with Willow"?

Good, I knew you could.

My boys will be (hopefully) starting to talk tomorrow, discussing the assignment I've set them. I'm calmer now, it's become more... more of a 'this is what needs to be done' than it already is. And I'm more hopeful now. Hopeful that they'll learn.

I've got a buyer for some of my stamp images but I need to get the Alphabet, maybe even a couple of them, up and finished. Must do this. NEED the cash. *sighs softly*

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I do NOT expect the world to offer me cash. But if someone DOES not only offer, but insist, then please by all that's f'ing holy actually FOLLOW THROUGH. I don't CARE if you don't offer it. I'm serious here. I just care that you don't lie to me. THAT is what pisses me the hell off.

This song had damned well better be the right version.

Argh.

Fuckit.

Eamon wants the computer back, I want some sleep.

Evil.

Odd.

No one is cruel enough in any of the right ways, today.