Suddenly - not suddenly - furious. Furious, enraged, my eyes half-closed and that hunger, desire, I need to tear and shred and scream...

...the poor girl...

...but oh, I want to help and I can't, I CAN'T HELP HER, gods... just like the times I cried... you learn to be cold.

Gods, you learn to be cold and you lock it all away and yet somehow it still hurts so much to see what's happening to another one.

One more brick in the wall?

Something like that.

I want contact, I need contact... pull my chain, stroke my hair, scratch my nerves, hug my knees... try drink, food, cigarettes, the tension will not ease... tug my fingers from my eyes, breath in deep, stretch my legs, shrug my shoulders...

...I need contact...

...girls, boys, the universe is full of mix-ups and madness and all I can do is wait.

And watch.

And another beautiful girl is slowly being turned into nothingness and shadows.

AND I CAN'T DO A DAMNED THING ABOUT IT.