So This Is Reality... ... ... ... I Want A Refund.
Previous - this entry written on November 25, 2002 at 12:30 pm - Next
Kadin's on the plane. I'm about to hop into the van to take Caleb to the airport. I know, I owe quite a few long diary updates.
Look, this last week, particularly this last weekend... it's been intense, and it's been wonderful, and frankly, parts of it are a bit more personal than I'm used to putting even in here. Some of it is already making its way into fictional pieces. Some of it will be released into the electronic world via the Collection, some through my locked diary elsewhere (yes, I have one of those. Don't bother looking. It IS locked.), and some won't ever really work out into text.
I am bruised, scratched, sore, tired, sniffly, queasy, aching, confused, and happier than I've been in... damn. In over a year.
Missed Torian a lot, missed Rhett and Daris, missed being online and talking with people here, yes. GODS yes.
However, I spent... let's see, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night with Caleb and Kadin together. One of those nights the kitten slept on a chair beside the bed in an OryCon hotel room. One of those nights I - well, a part of me - slept leashed to Facade's hand. One of those nights there was very little actual SLEEP, and what there was, was interrupted repeatedly. Monday night, Tuesday night, and Wednesday night were spent with Kadin, more or less.
A full week with Kadin. Four nights, five days, with Caleb... and Caleb is coming back for Christmas/New Year's.
I needed this, needed it more than I had realized.
Long distance love is surprisingly painful sometimes.
Speaking of painful. *amused* If you get a chance, if you know what I am talking about at all, I suggest you read the Collective and the slavegirl's journal for the next week.
Caleb's plane leaves at 2:35.
Still in panic-mode somewhat - no, no cash, no job, no obvious means of making any money in time to pay bills, and YES, I was indeed an idiot for trusting. *sighs* Every damn time. And EVERY time I know better, I even SAY this is stupid, why am I trusting someone again, but I keep being an idiot and trying to put at least a little faith in people.
So I'm logging off now, got to get Cal to the airport, then I'm going to crash for a while. Tired. Didn't get much sleep, really. *wry grin* Can't imagine why.
I feel drained.
I feel like the last week has been a dream, and I don't want to wake up.
I miss Kadin already, miss him horribly. I miss Caleb and he hasn't even left yet.
So this is what Reality is like.
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